2006-02-05 - I don't know what I am talking about anymore:

ZOMBIE ROACHES
I'm not even sure how a wasp evolves to be able to do this. Making a zombie roach is a really specific kind of evoloution - way more specific than an anteater's mouth, I'd wager.

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RECENT ACTIVITIES
Last night I went out and saw Memoirs of a Geisha. It only came out recently in theatres here in South Korea, so cut me some slack. Anyway, the movie was really hypnotic and beautiful. The story itself was lacking in places, I found. But I'm really glad I saw it, and the whole thing sucks you in and is absoloutly gorgeous.

Afterwords, my friends and I went to this weird bar that made us buy food with our beer. So we got this big fruit platter which was really good. But the music sucked really hard, so we went downtown to this nice Korean folky bar, where these guys were playing some live music. They played a lot of popular 60s-esque Korean folk songs, which was nice. Then they played a couple of English songs and we sang along. Liz and John did a rendition of The House of the Rising Sun, which got us all a round on the house, which is fun times. The second bar was definetly much better, and way more relaxing. Then we got some food and stumbled home around 3:15 in the morning. Good times.

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INTERNET GEGAWS AND CURIOS
Ever since Conan O'Brien did the Walker: Texas Ranger lever on his show (BEST. THING. EVER.) the internet has seen a re-kindled excitement in Chuck Norris. To me, Chuck Norris is just one of those guys that is always around, and never really seems to stop. And everyone knows about him. EVERYONE. In Japan, I was treated to the Walker: Texas Ranger show in my hotel room. In Korea, while channel surfing, I stumbled across an old Bruce Lee movie, whereby Chuck Norris is the Ultimate End Boss Guy and proceeds to fight with Bruce Lee. It was a really intense fight, but in the end, Bruce had to win. But Chuck put up a good fight: he got a broken arm, dislocated shoulder, broken leg, and still kept fighting, until Bruce finally broke his neck. Then Bruce did the Proper Ninja Guy Thing and respectfully covered the battered body and laid it out all nice. Incidentally, Chuck has a lot of back hair, which I didn't know! I'm sure you care.

Anyway, my point to all this is that the internet is all into the kitchy value of Chuck Norris. Which leads me to the following website of Chuck Norris Facts. This website totally sucks you in. I have to confess that I may or may not have impulsively ordered a T-shirt from this website. My two most favorite facts are:

1) "Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits." I imagine this being said in the kind of way that the boy in The Ring says, "She never sleeps," when the mom things that she's solved everything, and then you find out that the boy is dying and he's all scared and whispery. "Chuck Norris only waits..." hahaha

and, 2) "Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer." Come on, this is just perfect.

Okay, so enough about Chuck. Another thing I notice that the internet is doing is circulating this internet quiz where you can find out what kind of dice you are, all Dungeons and Dragons-esque. Maybe you shouldn't worry about what kind of dice you'd be, and start wondering WHY YOU WOULD EVEN CARE IN THE FIRST PLACE ABOUT THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION. Seriously, Internet, I think you have a quiz for everything retarded, and this has totally got to stop.

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SUPER GENIUS MAN
This guy is a genius:

This guy never has to make another sign again. He can just use this sign again and again at every single protest he ever attends. IT IS THE PERFECT SIGN.