2005-10-08 - Blowing off some steam:

Okay, so the Seoul pictures will have to wait until next time, because I am not organized. But for now, I just want to bitch a little about the little things in Korea that make life really, really weird.

1. The fruit & vegetable trucks: instead of selling things at the store like a normal person, many farmers drive trucks into the city, drive around neigbourhoods, and yell about their fruits/vegetables for sale on a loud speaker or megaphone. This begins at about 6:30 in the morning, and can last as late as 10:30. I really hate these stupid trucks, with the Korean men on megaphones telling you about fresh grapes or what have you. But at least I can sleep through them. I cannot sleep through this next thing...

2. The Tofu Lady: I don't know what your deal is, Tofu Lady, but I want to kill you, when you are probably not a bad person. the Tofu Lady walks around selling tofu to people in my neighbourhood. Which is OK, except that she rings this huge bell the entire time. And, like the fruit/vegetable trucks, she starts around 6:30 in the morning, and can go on as late as 10:30. You can hear her moving all around the neighbourhood ringing her bell. But people just love it, and they run down from their apartments and buy her tofu all the time, even though they sell it in stores like, a two minute walk away. What the hell?

3. The rawness: Koreans eat raw fish. Fine, raw fish is good. I enjoy raw fish. It is not bad for you. But, Koreans also eat many other meats raw, including beef, pork, duck, and CHICKEN. Yes, they eat raw chicken. And when you refuse it, they act like you shit on the table. It is not that I am a fussy eater, i just don't want to eat raw meat because science has proven that is a super bad idea, especially when that meat is CHICKEN, MOTHERFUCKERS. A funny thing about Korea... there is a high percentage of people with stomach parasites. I can't imagine why! In fact, they administer anti-paracite medication for super cheap, and you can take it once in the fall, and once in the spring, to purge the system of parasites for the seasons to come. The drug that they sell to do this is the same drug that farmers in the Western world use on swine. Yes, Koreans take pig medicine. That's what happens when you eat so much raw crap.

4. The way they are obsessed with health: Fine, it is good to be healthy. But Koreans claim things are healthy when it makes no sense. Like above mentioned raw meats. I have a (canadian) friend here who was told that a Korean brand of cigarettes is healthy. What the hell is that about? I want to give Koreans medical textbooks. Every single one of them.

5. The love of protocol and formality: Koreans love pomp and ceremony. Things that would take a couple hours max in the west take two days here. I am serious. And they invite us ESL teachers to these meetings all the time, because it is protocol for all teachers to attend. I have sat through meetings that last hours, conducted entirely in Korean. Seriously guys: I have not been here for two full months yet. I barely manage getting food in a restaurant or asking "where are the grapes?" at the supermarket. What is your deal? Sometimes, they will even ask for my opinion on something midway through the meeting, in English, when they've been speaking in Korean for the entire time. MY OPINION IS THAT I SHOULD LEAVE BECAUSE I AM BORED, OKAY?

6. Traffic: Traffic laws exist, I am told, but no one seems to follow them. Red lights are constantly ignored, cars drive on sidewalks, motorcycles whip around on sidewalks and cross at pedestrian crossings, U-turns happen all the time in places where they should not be executed, motorcyclists do not wear helmets, seatbelts are only required by law to be worn in the front seats of a car, horns are honked constantly, there are no one-way streets when there should be, and there are no stop signs. The only thing the cops seem to do is hand out speeding tickets, because everyone i know is always worried about getting a speeding ticket, and it is legal to have police scanners in your vehicle, so many people use them to avoid cop cameras, cop cars, and the like. What a country! If I die in a traffic accident, i want my tombstone to say: I TOLD YOU THAT KOREA WAS RETARDED.

I don't want to be bitchy. There is lots of things that I do enjoy about living and working in Korea. but sometimes I really just get tired of stuff that is dumb.