2004-03-06 - Pilot Project #54032891000034:

My hands are becoming dry, masses of skin. White. Scaley. Flakey. Useless. No amount of moisturizures and lotions can save them. I have dry patches upon dry patches, in areas of the hand that rarely dry out. They are going to fall off, there's no doubt about it. But I'm down with that. I'm designing new, robotic hands. Everyone knows that robotic hands are at least 400% better than ordinary, fleshy hands, with bones, nerves, tendons, vessles. Everyone.

These new hands are going to be a titanium alloy that is both lightweight and dureable. The fingers will be double-jointed, with specifically designed hinges for durable joints. Pressure-sensors will be attached to various points in the fingers, thumbs, and palms, and they will connect to my wrists. This will enable delicate functions; I can pick up items without crushing, manipulate small objects without damage. Soon, my brain will get used to these new pressure-points, so that it will be tricked into thinking that I never lost my hands at all. And, because of the alloys, these new hands will also be stronger than normal hands by far. So I will be able to crush objects, or use extreme force, if required.

More importantly, my fingers will contain extra functions. For instance, a pen will be mounted into my forefinger, retractable as well as refilleable, so that it can be accessed easily when needed. Similarly, I will embed other features into other digits. Including (but not limited to): a corkscrew, knife, file, scissors, laser pointer, mini mag-light, and bottle opener. This way, I will no longer reqire a swiss army knife, hence, I will not accidently forget the knife on various occasion, and will always be prepared.

The titanium alloy hands will be covered in a special, organic material that is virtually identical to human skin in appearance. This material is patented and top-secret, so i cannot tell you what it is comprised of. However, I will tell you that it regenerates itself like regular skin, and is able to match itself in color and pigment to that of its host, so that the same material can be used to replace skin regarless of the patient's race or pigment patterns, as in the case of people with freckles. The only flaw is that it does not grow fingernails. However, this can be remedied by carefully placed titanium discs, designed to look like fingernails. Only a trained eye can tell the difference. Just you wait and see.