2004-12-11 - Dear Internet:

Feeling kinda introspective, lately. Not many things are new with me, personally, but a lot of things around me are changing a lot. I am feeling kind of sad-happy, like when I first graduated from University and everyone moved away. I'm happy for everyone, but I don't want to lose the Good Things. It feels like a lot of the Good Things don't really come around all that often.

A couple of women at work are pregnant, and the woman who's job I am doing because she was on maternity leave has come back. So she is using the daycare at the University and visiting the kid for feeding times. Often she brings the baby into the office and women coo and pass it around. I think I already told you about this. Anyway, in a conversation with some of my (non-pregnant) co-workers, I mentioned that I really had no interest in babies/no maternal instinct to speak of. And somebody was like, "you say that now, but I bet you'll change your mind." To which I replied: "I can't rule that out, but it's also wrong to assume that because I am female I automatically want to get knocked-up." I think they thought I was joking, but I was really serious. I mean, not everyone with a uterus wants to get inpregnated. Why does society and the general populus continue to assume so?

Yeah, I am still working on the "social skills" thing.

On a totally unrelated note, I did some Christmas shopping and am feeling pretty successful about that.

My general mood is: I'm tryin', okay?!